I think I would have chosen a different snare for this piece. As a whole, you have a pensive, dark mood and fairly heavy drums. Perhaps even pitching it down and adding some digital or analog clipping a la Slam Pup or Cymatics Diablo would help push it a bit harder.
I'm enjoying the bassline quite a bit. It drives the piece forward well. A bit more presence for your string pads would work wonders. You can use a slight sidechain to duck them down on the kick and snare for further drive. Modulating the amount of reverb in places would also help, as there are some sections that do benefit from the shoegaze wash I'm hearing and others which could use more clarity.
Additionally, I was so disappointed not to hear a final chorus. That is where this piece really shines.
Great work. Thanks for coming out to NGUAC!