There's a little clipping on that kick. I find the use of a fast 4 on the floor kick to be an interesting choice. I probably would not have kept it straight throughout and occasionally dropped the kick on instances where the snare hit in your drop.
The piece in general doesn't sound very scary to me. Quite frantic actually. But perhaps this is normal in today's video-game music/piano jazz.
The waveform of this piece is fairly quiet. I think it would sound better if you applied compression to the master channel. If you are not initiated, I would suggest doing some study on mixing and mastering for this particular genre. The song and ideas within are cool. Could just use a little professional polish!
I would also either shorten your intro so that the fast kick doesn't wear out its welcome. It does drive the beat, but at points it's the only element I can keep consistent attention on!
There are some other minor critiques, but I will shorten them to just making sure the snare is nice and loud, that the main melody is likewise loud, and the bass is very present in the mix. This should be done at the instrument level, not the EQ in most cases. Also, strive to make sure your instrumental is not exceedingly chaotic -- many fast moving parts can distract the listener if the entire song is like this. Simplify rhythms if you must have a lot of moving parts. This wasn't a huge problem. The overall mood of the piece and melodies themselves favored your arrangement, but it didn't leave a lot of room to pay attention to the melody.
I would probably instead of distorting a piano for guitar chugs would see if I could find a decent guitar sample or three and create a double track for that. They tend to be more intense than pianos ;)
NGADM score: 6.3/10, NG score: 8/10 for preference