Your thoughts sum up my feelings around the same time as I graduated college. I took multiple hiatuses for this reason. I couldn't seem to make the music I liked, or anything that didn't suck. I had a few cool ideas now and then and largely they were ignored. Partly it's my fault for not putting myself out there in the community. Partly it's the songs' fault for being ... mid. I had these infectious melodies and was beginning to grasp structure, but mix, master, instrument quality and so on were just not there.
Now the stuff I make blows my old material out of the water.
Why am I saying all this? It's not because I want to talk about myself -- I'm saying not to give up. Find references in the genres you want to make, and strive to make your songs approach that standard in as many ways as possible. Mix, levels, use of FX, structure, similar sound palettes. All that stuff really helps. And when all else fails, hit the tutorials.
Now to finish this off as a review, there are some things I'm noticing. The waveform is pretty quiet, meaning the track looks unmastered. None of the levels are offensive, but your bass could use a little bit of mids to bring it out of the dark. The kick and clap are driving, but the bass is pretty muted and relaxed.
Melodically, there's nothing wrong with it at all. I might double your lead with a different synth up an octave at times for variety, but it's not bad at all. It just doesn't seem like there are a lot of instruments keeping things spacey, or any real presence in the higher octaves from anything but the hihat.
Just my 2 cents. Thanks for coming out to NGUAC!