Excellent writing. Could really use better mixing on vocals and delivery. Track FX are your friend, specifically reverb and chorus, and compression. Then, proper leveling. Then you don't have to be right up on the mic to get a good sound and volume. Also, falsetto sounds a bit weak and lacking passion/power. Instrumental is a little too loud and sounds like it's distorting at points. This one could go back to the drawing board in terms of mixing. But it was interesting enough I wanted to hear it out to the end, and written well.