ADR3-N's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[Week 18 2017 (Acapella)]

Rhymes are perfect. Diction is a little uncertain in some places, like

This afternoon you can be dead certain
I'll be outside sipping sunshine closing them curtains,

Could have been remedied with a stop-and-go flow like

This afternoon... you can be... dead certain
I'll be outside sipping sunshine, closing them curtains

Because as fast as these bars are, short-long isn't gonna do them justice. Maybe revisit this flow with that in mind. Reading through I was almost feeling a 123/123/12 vibe. Listening, you blazed through those rhymes.

Otherwise, I don't know why you're warning us about quality. These bars might not be platinum, but they fiiiiire.

Ps, what Kieran said.

Cyberdevil responds:

Thanks again. :) Diction's definitely not perfect with this one, though surprised you didn't comment on the:

I didn't know him and I didn't care to catch up,
Sunshine man! Don't get too much of that stuff.

...that's the one bit I really bump my head against the keyboard at, listening to again. XD Stop-and-go flow hmm... solid point. Appreciate the feedback!

As for quality: it's just not very processed. Just a little reverb, pretty much, and very few takes on each, so not perfect balance and such. Personally I feel my voice was pretty weak on this but glad y'all hear it differently! :)

[Week 22 2017 (Acapella)]

Starting out loving this flow. Classic. I can almost hear it as I read it -- and when I go back and listen, I feel where you're going with it. All I want to address a couple points where we've got words used twice in the same bar, or rhymes/diction are/is a little weak compared to your stronger bars:

It's Monday and the next's coming up Thursday's end
You could almost say it's almost too adjacent

I had a little trouble understanding the TH in Thursday so it made this rhyme sound weaker than it really was. IRL, Thursday's end and adjacent work brilliantly. Just hard to work Thursday into that bar without having some way to imply a full stop.

My hood's pretty calm a place unlike hoods

This one only sounds a bit off. Could be phrased better, My hood's pretty calm, unlike most hoods -- and keep all the same syllables.

I see you're working that ourobouros rhyme scheme. Most famous to use it would probably be Drake. You might find some inspiration looking up the scheme, technique, and... actually I just remembered I found this looking up ... Friedmann Findiesen's video on the subject. Basically, the excitement is not knowing where the flow is going to break for the end-rhyme -- generally not in the same bar, which is a freestyle technique that can translate into writing really, really interesting bars.

1:20 is really loud!

Rest of the track flows like butter. Nice outro!

Cyberdevil responds:

Hmm all valid points! Regarding the hood line, the 'my hood' rhymes with 'I'm good', then 'calm a place' -> 'farm each day' (not an exact rhyme though), then two internal rhymes in the second line before the finishing 'vinewood' to match the 'my hood' again. So changing that particular line would change a lot, I was pretty proud of how that one turned out... but agree with the previous. Could've maybe said 'first day's' for clarity... there should be ways in that space. .)

Honestly I've barely touched the topic of rhyme scheme types. Good to know! And interesting. I remember hearing some interview with one of P. Diddy's prodige's speaking about how he was pretty frustrated with all the changes he wanted him to make in his lines, but the main thing was always going for the unexpected there. Never predictable end rhymes. It does add an edge, I agree. I'm terrible with freestyles though! XD Anyway great notes, and thanks again for an in-depth review! The last line's a homage to the aforementioned band, if you haven't heard them. :) Really a highlight of last year's concerts.

[Pico Day 2018 (Acapella)]

Maybe the most relatable piece I've heard from you yet. "2007... a flash I never finished." Man, I remember I got up two days before clock day, crapped out some unfinished storyboard animation to ColdPlay "Clocks," probably got removed for infringement by now. Those were better days.

I remember being in SESClassics... and having folders full off redundant animations for groups that no longer even exist.

Long story short, I've got mad nostalgia going right now. At times I can't sense exactly where you're pushing your rhyme scheme, but as far as freestyle goes, and I can really sense that vibe with your flow, you're turning into a major monster.

Let's go to the composition itself.

The Cyberdevil does he not master his demons?
I guess not! Procrastination is the bane of reason!
But all progress - little or lot - has meaning.
And spontaneous creation is the crane I'm reaching!

Huge props here. Strong rhyme scheme, good switchup, little wisdom, and this is probably the highest point of your piece. More like this.

It'll be fun! Good people have a bite and binge!
To all you peeps: may life be nice and kin rise
And with ice in our glasses as the lighting dims
And thunder rumbles and the lightning blinks

This, here, though it's visually popping in my head, might need a few synonyms around those last two lines, maybe even a switcharoo -- ice in our glasses, lightning flashes -- with a thunderous sound, and the lights go down, reminding us the Reich of Kings is in town!

Although, you did keep a good flow regardless. Color me impressed. Only thing I could add is that "reich" is usually pronounced with a KH, not a CH.

Just throwing out suggestions here and there.

Rife with life this site is! Delightening

I would probably write this as "This site is rife with life -- delightfully" -- with the same sounds and stresses as "delightening," even though I've never heard that word before. Have to check if it exists later. Otherwise nice, strong phrasing.

Your sound has vastly improved. Good volume level, sounds good on headphones and speakers. Noise sounds a lot cleaner. Only complaint this time around is just what sounds like a little bit of mic clipping on the recording end when you start really feeling yourself toward the end, and thus naturally go just a little bit beyond what your mic can handle. That or it could be mastering compression. Just looking at the waveform, it's a toss up of one or both.

Great work!

Cyberdevil responds:

Yeah I miss feeling like it's alright to just submit whatever. :) Expectations rise.

Heeey you really improved on that second quatrain. :D I see what you mean. Yeah. Would need to shorten that to something like ...sound, the lights go down, reminding us the Reich's in town' to fit the flow. Context goes off a bit in the example but should be possible (though I'm not sure I'll make a new take on this one that's great for the future). I wasn't super happy with the final line there but didn't realize tracing the previous rhyme scheme is what has that effect either. Enlightening.

Good note on the pronunciation too. Good knowing. Was wondering if someone would have something against that word choice btw, in which case I'd point out that: it literally means kingdom. Can't let how words have been used steer how or what words we use now! They stole and tarnished the symbol of the sun god too, but we should bring that back as well! But nobody said anything so hmm...

Well Delightening rhymed with reich of kings. :) Though didn't really match that with the following line. I don't think it exists. I often twist words in ways they're not usually twisted just for the rhyme scheme, when the meaning (I hope?) still comes across. Simple way of producing somewhat unique lyrics in a world where everything's done?. :)

Yupp, clipping. Need to learn to bring the mic a bit further away when I go haywire. Glad you find the quality better overall though! Since it's the same mic I must be getting better at this. The reason I really go in at the end there is mainly because I'm finally warmed up, and done, so no need to save on vocal chords. It's just finally: let it out! Wouldn't be able to maintain that voice that long or at a higher tempo.

Thanks for the feedback and appreciation! Some really useful notes too!

[AIM - Gemini]

Official AIM 2018 Review!

From the jump, I like that first chord. Second could probably use an inversion. Third and fourth resolve well together. This is an improvement from your first entry; the chords aren't laying down flat but instead sway in the sound space a bit. This is good.

I like the general premise of this theme, and it certainly has the spacey feel you were going for. However, I do notice a definite structure and still feel like some elements have been copied and pasted throughout. Rather than applying variants to this structure (since there are no lyrics, we must strive to say something different with each phrase while holding onto the nuances of the theme) it feels like you've kept most of the elements the same, without applying an overarching melody. This is great for an instrumental to rap over or a background piece, not so much as a thematic statement. It ends up feeling incomplete.

You might try experimenting with overarching melodies in your choruses -- with sustains, not stabs. I hear what you're doing with those bells, but it sounds less like melody and more like harmony.

I would also say that this piece fits more into synthwave than it does modern hip-hop; that suped up reverb on your percussion, the straight hats, toms, and etc. until your chorus lends so strongly to an 80's vibe, I can't shake it.

I would also like to say I do appreciate this contrast of styles. It lends to a more living, breathing piece.

Now, onto instruments and mixing.

Mix wise, this piece is very quiet, and it feels almost as if the high 15-22khz has been severely chopped off, seemingly for each instrument. Looking at the spectrograph, I can also see that mastering compression has not been applied to the track as a whole. The peaks are all sitting about where they should for pre-mastering. This is taking a lot of polish off your mix, alone.

Also, it sounds like a LOT of reverb has been applied, perhaps a bit clumsily, to give individual instruments a very roomy sound. I'm hearing so much 'verb at points, I can hardly pick out different percussion instruments, where they're supposed to lay in the mix -- kind of like being closed up in a shipping crate with a bunch of rocks rolling down the side of a mountain. I can hear the metallic attack, pre and post delay, and decay. Either bring that big 'verb signal down a tad or dampen and EQ it. As is, your perc is sounding less spacey and more muddy.

Delays, for the most part, those are sounding good. I'd like to hear them panned a bit harder, but that's probably my personal taste.

Transitions for this piece were mixed in fairly well. I'd have liked them a bit more obvious, perhaps longer.

At 1:01, this drum loop is loud enough, it almost sounds like it's being treated as the melody. I would have appreciated more variation on this. 30+ seconds of the same drums? No matter how good they are, they become too predictable to be enjoyable; this section is longer than your chorus!

I also don't like that triangle; it's sounding pretty dry. It comes in better context in the outro.

808's could have been louder. Percussion as a whole is lacking the high fizz edge around 16-19k and in general needs compressed to stand out in the mix without laying over it.

I would have appreciated more variations and fills in hi-hats and toms rather than simple overlays alongside the track. Using a structure is fine, but remember to use your percussion to accent what your melody and harmony are saying.

Also, I'm noticing in both of your pieces, you tend to use bells to convey your melodic content. Bells have a great attack, and if sustained can be good vehicles for melodic content, but I'm noticing you tend to use them as background harmonies with a few accents over the main theme. If you're going to use them melodically, remember to bring them up in the mix at the appropriate times (and bring other instruments down if necessary). Upon listening to your song a fifth time, I noticed some melodic content that had been buried in the mix.

Throughout, I'm noticing the melodies at some points do feel rehashed. I realize this is a convention of trap music, since the primary focus of trap is not the melody but its ability to carry lyrical content consistently.

Also, at your choruses, I would have appreciated a crash or something at the first measure. Having your riser cut off right there with no fizzy overhang -- afterglow of some kind, almost makes it feel like a non-sequitur.

Other than that, good work. I enjoyed the piece. My top recommendation would be to study mixing and mastering from here on out. You've got the basics of songwriting down pat. Now you just need the secret sauce. :)

Anything else I could have mentioned has already been covered in TL's review. Lemme know if you've got any questions or comments.

DarkHorseOrchestra responds:

Thought it was a good idea turned down the master volume on both tracks for some reason, don't ask why. About genre, idk I just put that one most of the time. Thanks for the review!

[AIM - A delicate cycle]

AIM 2018 Review -- and happy to see you out here representing!

Starting off, I'm not really liking those dense chords so deep in the register. They're sorta discordant and chunky down there.

Trimming the chord voices (say, you have a 4 note chord and strip it down to bare bones for the intro) or inverting them (see chord inversions, music theory term) could improve their effectiveness. You could also apply panning to different voices of the chords. It sounds very flat and centered as is -- actually, most of the piece sounds very centered but especially the keys. Closed-voicing chord progressions in lower registers tend to sound a bit cluttered, too, whereas closed-voiced high chords sound less so.

You may offset this muddy, centered sound with FX. A lo-fi filter with a fade in/fade out on those naked sections of keys would probably have distracted me enough not to notice how flat sounding the intro is and may have even made good use of that tight, low chord voicing.

Chord voicing is not quite optimal throughout; I'm hearing a lot of hanging around on the root notes of chords, parallel motion (music theory term for parallel 5ths or octaves), etc., and I think it would be worth your while to study a bit of theory to help you make better use of your sound palette here.

Percussion is actually what shines in this piece, despite somewhat laying on top of all the other elements. I particularly enjoy your choice of samples and hi-hat writing. Would have liked to have heard some panning, perhaps a little FX play (delay or panned reverb), a riser or two, and a little more consistent mixing on the kit. Harder compression and/or side chain would massively improve this piece. It's very quiet; even its loudest, hardest hitting points are missing that extra oomph. The peaks here resemble an uncompressed, unmastered demo.

Structurally the song is quite uniform, and though there was a definite direction, I found myself wanting a bit more melody -- although it did convey the cyclical nature of the art. I at times felt as if some elements had been copied and pasted.

FX use was rather sparing, which I appreciated. However, the camera in particular sat on top of the mix and it seemingly came out of nowhere. I would have liked a gradual use of FX throughout as a warmup. Things like switches flipping, sinks running, covers ruffling, lamps clunking on, etc., if you wanted to convey more of a life cycle.

I also really recommend using velocity and modulation on those bell-ish sounding synths that come in at 48 secs. I don't particularly like that sound hanging around in the high register, doubling your other bell arps, probably because it's so centered.

Bass could probably do with coming up one to two dB. Kick as well. Snap sample could come down. It lays on top of the rest of the track.

Other than that, pretty solid work. I enjoyed it enough to listen more than once, and it fits the art. I think that's about all I have to say on the topic. Let me know if you have any questions, or if you'd like pointers to some free music theory/software resources.

Ciao!

DarkHorseOrchestra responds:

Thanks for your review! Will definitely come back to this time to time and drill these tips into my head. Point away to them music theory resources

Thanks again for the review, appreciate it!

[Panoramic fly vision]

Reminds me of Paragon-X9, although to be fair, DnB back in the day was always a fairly insular sounding genre. I'm surprised this song is rated as low as it is, not to mention that it has so few views. The mix is a bit tinny, and the bass could use more presence, but it's not as if any one particular aspect o the track is buried under another; I also recall this is the era where mastering compression and sausage fattening hadn't infiltrated 99% of music as a whole, so it's not bothering me much. Breakbeats are sweet. I'll be adding it to my favorites. Hashtag A E S T H E T I C.

[The Lost Tapes: Rebirth]

Lost tape, you say? I can easily identify most of these instrument patches, but I have to say, the arrangement, while odd, is more than just the sum of its parts. While seemingly wonky, it retains a cohesive theme -- enough repetition to retain legitimacy without being skull-numbingly boring. It'd probably have better served your piece to have the melody outside of the mallets for such slow lines, though, or at least supported with another instrument. Who knows, maybe even a harmony with a second clarinet.

Overall, not a bad piece. Crazy to think it's been sitting here unmolested in misc for over a year. I'm going to move it to the proper genre.

Ps, come back yo.

[DJ_XBrav Ultimate Shortey]

Sounds like FL Slayer and some generic key presets. I actually like it. Short and sweet. Chord progression leaves a little to be desired though, and the drums are pretty buried in the mix.

[The First]

I'm not really getting a trap vibe from this at all. Can't really hear the bass. Kick kind of sounds like "Shots" mixed with a couple other tracks. That snare is laying there. It's also lacking any backing pads to give those cute runs any feel to them. Makes the whole track feel empty. It feels like being lost in a PVC pipe.

[DJ Cat - Bloodlust]

This song is ridiculously loud and dissonant but seems to have had some effort put into it, at least. Pull those individual instruments down and clap a limiter on it or something.