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The analog sounding synth in the beginning is fine to my ears. Reminds me of some older pieces I used to listen to. This percussion is just not working for you though. It's practically without rhythmic center, and does not help the relative melodic center of the piece progress. Rather than supporting the structure of the track, it divides it.

However, I do like your use of FX. Without it, this track would be relatively unlistenable for me. As an experiment, it's interesting, but melodically, compositionally, and sonically, it's just not doing it for me. That being said, if you ever need a constructive/critical review, hit me up.

SlaughterClub responds:

i AM NOTSAYING its the best track in the world but ...( rhythmic center, ) relative melodic center your use of FX. sonically theses are probley the reason you do like it LOL

This piece is extremely in your face right from the beginning. Comes in hot. If this came on my mp3 player right off the bat, I'd be adjusting the volume right away. Also seems like you've upped the volume, not applied mastering compression, and all the other little things that need to be done like EQ shaping, etc. It is WAY too loud, to the point the track is completely distorted throughout.

Your structure is relatively alright, as are your melodic ideas and chordage, but everything is pancaked on top of something else, to the point the melodies are almost unintelligible. Also, that lead overtop for your chorus is just repeating the same line over and over. Switch it up for a fill every 4 to 8 bars! Transitions are not the only thing that make a song interesting, and a chorus doesn't have to be the same thing over and over!

Also, would have preferred this piece faded out. The abrupt ending and abrupt start are jarring!

Anyway, don't take the low score to heart. This is a decent piece. It's just marred by the mastering, all the little things piling up, like finding a worm in your apple, and suddenly you don't want to eat it anymore. At your stage, learn mixing and mastering a little better (and might I add, appropriate to EDM genres), and you'll find your sound suddenly and dramatically improves!

A lot of dissonance and lack of cohesion/melodic direction in this track. It does have a very jazzy feel to it, in that regard, sort of avant garde at points, but I really don't like all the stopping and starting, at least not with a really raw drum break like that. Needs some FX. Otherwise the track as a whole sounds relatively unmastered and piled on top of itself. When sampling, at least touch up some frequencies with the EQ and try to mesh the sound a little bit more. Warm and natural is the way to go!

The piece overall is distorting to the point of not being enjoyable at the louder points. Also seems you added reverb before distortion on that initial synth. The exception is around 1:09, where only the drums are lightly crunched. I'm not sure where this piece melodically centers, or what you're trying to convey, but the louder it becomes, the more unintelligible it seems. Keep that in mind when mixing heavily distorted genres. The more sounds you add, the more confusion you make.

I can't offer any critique outside of what TaintedLogic has already mentioned, barring -- it sounds like you're recording a keyboard. My advice is not to record electronic keyboards in open air. If you can get a DI box and route this into your PC to refine the sound more, it will yield FAR superior results.

Overall, I enjoyed the writing of this piece, but the muddy mixing and extreme reverb turned me off. It left some parts of the melody and harmony unintelligible.

Also, ignore what Tainted said about kicks regarding this piece specifically. I realize you were using timpanis. You may want to add in an orchestral bass drum at some points in your other compositions, though. At that point his critique will apply.

Your verses are perfect, and the mix sounds great on speakers, but it falls flat on headphones, which is weird. Usually that's the other way around. Your flow is standing out above the instrumental, which is good, but that mix is very raw and flat. Needs a lot of doctoring with EQ, compression, etc., in order to sound good.

What you've proved with this piece is that you don't need fancy VSTs to make entertaining pieces though, so full stars for effort, minus half for upload quality and mastering. Really was torn on giving you a higher score, but for the reasons mention in TaintedLogic's review, quality dragged it down.

That said, if you can make this your gig, master it better, and take yourself seriously enough to do it well, I see a bright future.

Kwing responds:

Thanks! I allowed my rapping ability to go way beyond my knowledge of audio mastering so I guess it's no surprise I got a critique like this.

Verses remind me of Snoop and are well written. Instrumental sounds a bit olskool. Could use a bit of a facelift on those midi instruments, but writing is on point. Whole song in general is relatable, and the "never wanna die" I'm sure resonates with everyone.

At some points, the singing sounds a bit dispassionate, but I think that may be attributed to falsetto. Vocalist could do well to come out of his shell, so to speak. Not bad, especially for independent music.

I would love if this had some more verses. 2 minutes is not a long time to get to know your flow, and that chorus is nice and fluid.

Pretty sweet, swingy, laid back -- BUT, the audio is distorting at points and sounds really low quality. Drums are hiding, etc. Could use a cleaner approach to mastering.

This is some pretty crazy writing! Sounds like really old 80's music. I appreciate the time and effort you must have put into programming/recording this on old equipment and preserving it over the years. A home studio used to be virtually unheard of. What I don't like is the sudden stop or the artist tag at the end. It feels a bit excessive and I don't know anyone else who uses these except when selling beats online.

I have to disagree with TaintedLogic on one point. Probably the best aspects of this piece are the perc lines, which add the most drive and motion. It's otherwise VERY repetitive and lacking in satisfying chord resolutions. Can't add much more than that. It's a very simple, rudimentary piece with very little in the way of harmony or motion. This lends to an empty sound that fails to keep my interest for very long. At the same time, it would be appropriate for a very minimalistic GBC styled game. Without visual elements of some sort, though, it falls flat and fails to really communicate an idea.

I did enjoy the piece somewhat, but critically, it falls flat. Don't let that deter you though. Keep at it!

I make beats, metal, samples, patches, dnb, original game soundtracks, RVC voice models, and Russian/ English translation covers. Follow for monthly music producer freebies! Рада помочь русскоговорящим. Семплы вложены в ссылках вниз)))

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