This piece is extremely in your face right from the beginning. Comes in hot. If this came on my mp3 player right off the bat, I'd be adjusting the volume right away. Also seems like you've upped the volume, not applied mastering compression, and all the other little things that need to be done like EQ shaping, etc. It is WAY too loud, to the point the track is completely distorted throughout.
Your structure is relatively alright, as are your melodic ideas and chordage, but everything is pancaked on top of something else, to the point the melodies are almost unintelligible. Also, that lead overtop for your chorus is just repeating the same line over and over. Switch it up for a fill every 4 to 8 bars! Transitions are not the only thing that make a song interesting, and a chorus doesn't have to be the same thing over and over!
Also, would have preferred this piece faded out. The abrupt ending and abrupt start are jarring!
Anyway, don't take the low score to heart. This is a decent piece. It's just marred by the mastering, all the little things piling up, like finding a worm in your apple, and suddenly you don't want to eat it anymore. At your stage, learn mixing and mastering a little better (and might I add, appropriate to EDM genres), and you'll find your sound suddenly and dramatically improves!