Ok, taking another break from writing stories again. I wrote you guys some nice, heartfelt poems to read while I'm on hiatus, starving to death.

2023: wow i wrote a lot of unholy shit. edited to remove references to people

- - -

Tortuous Love, written for S

Oh, Love is a torturous thing

Thoughts

They fuse

You like them

But do they like you?

Beliefs to lies

Which one is right?

From your guilty pleasure

Do you delight

Should you tell them?

Could you tell them?

You want to tell them,

But you cannot

This dilemma

It leaves you distrought

Oh my dear S,

Love is a tortuous thing

Do you know?

Are you sure?

Are their thoughts of your own reflection?

Are you their object of affection?

These questions,

so troublesome

You must struggle

Until the war is won

Feed the fire

The time is nigh

The question is

Are you right?

Will your love take flight?

You want to believe

To hope that their looks really do not deceive

But you truly do not know

Until your love grows

Oh, love is a troublesome thing[/i]

Eaten Up Inside - written for my emo side

Eaten up inside

Go away

Let me die

I never got what I wanted

I never got what I needed

What's on my mind?

I cannot say

I am insane

I like this game

I'm done being there for others

They have their pain

And so do I

Don't need the love of my brother

I don't know why

Don't want to be with one another

Feeling numb

So long

Oh God

It's all I know

Now I pray for all of them to go away

Let me die

I don't need their ways

Let me die

Eaten up inside

I'll die smiling

Let me go

Let me die

Frozen here in time

What's on my mind

Who can say why

It's not invention I'm beating

I cannot stop all this bleeding

As I dream maybe I'll fly away

Eaten up inside

Let me die

I never got what I wanted

I never got what I needed

I'll die smiling

Eaten up inside

Skittles - an ode to my companion

Look around you

Your world

It turns about you

Love lost

Friendships burned

Look to the past

Truths discerned

Turn away from them

Destroy it all

Hold nothing near to you

For from you, it will be stripped

The threads of your heart

Cut into pieces

No more remorse

See the light

It plays about you

Your darkness revealed

Stay with me my child

That your darkness be concealed

Your evil hidden from the world

No love lost

No friendships burned

For in truth, you had nothing at all

Stay with me my child

That I may build you a wall

Behind which you will hide your darkness

That you may not fall

Fall into Darkness

I am not who you think I am

You do not understand my dilemmas

Honestly, I do not give a damn

Look what you have taken from us

You stole my heart

Gave it away

Trampled on my soul

Look at what you have done to me

Look at me

I am a shell of what I used to be

I have fallen into darkness

My soul black as pitch

My heart a pool of cess

You are my reason for falling into darkness

My reason to hate

My sole weakness

My love, you have stolen my consciousness

You stole my logic with a kiss

My livelihood replaced by bliss

My heart is black

Tainted from your touch

I want you back

But I hate you so much

My soul is a crumpled letter in your hands

Ready to be written again

Ink laden and dusty

I fear we shall go at it again

You

You

I like so many things about you

It seems I don't know what to do

When I'm around you

I feel like I could fly

Like a bird

High in the sky

You are my heroin

My object of desire

My love

You are everything I've known I wanted

And everything I've ever wanted to know

How can you leave me like this

How can I survive alone?

Feels like I've lost everything I've known

We push the buttons down inside

We tear our hearts out

Then we fuck

Hey

I know

Feels like I've lost everthing I've known

Every time we fight it feels so wrong

I feel so enslaved by my pride

Can we be again?

We push the buttons far inside

We tear our hearts up

Then we fuck

Hey

I know

Feels like I've lost everything I've known

How can I survive alone

Without you?

Little Dead Girls

I see them

They come to me

I feel them in my head

Their stares boring through my skin

I see them

They're all dead

Their blood spattered bodies

Their tattered skin

It comes to me

Only in dreams

I hear them

They try to scream

Mournful whimpers rustling in the wind

They meet my ears

Making me wonder what might have been

I hear them

If only they could speak

I feel them

They reach right through me

Cold caresses

Unfeeling embraces

I feel them

Only in my dreams

I smell their blood

It pools around my body

I cannot sleep tonight

My life steeped in blood shed long ago

[An Untitled Rant] - Devoted to H's ignorance of how much I loved her (at first)

Damn it!

I don't get you at all!

What is it that makes this boy so fucking great?

All he is ever going to do is get you knocked up,

Then he's going to leave you all fucked up!

Why don't you understand?

I know love is blind

But is that worth this?

Is it worth leaving your family behind?

Worth leaving the people who love you?

Worth leaving ME?

I can't believe you

You betrayed me

Now I don't know what I'm going to do

You stupid fuck!

Why can't you love me?!

I've waited for so long, just to hold you

To do anything with you,

and you don't even care

I just want to die!

Why?

Why do you hate me?

Don't leave me

I don't want to be like this

I love you,

I truly do

Why can't you just love me like I love you

Why can't we even talk to eachother

We're supposed to love one another

But all you care about is this dude

This guy who's only going to cause you trouble

This guy who I despise for being so lucky

I keep trying to tell you, he's not good for you

But you never listen

So fuck off and good-bye to both of you

Because no matter what I do

I'll always love you

And you'll never see the same way I do

I want to die

I want to die

I want to feel the life slipping out of me

I want to be a lifeless boat in a sea of my own blood

I want to go where any dead man could

I want to drown in an ocean of red

I want to see how it is on the other side

I want to die

Weirdo

I know I'm a weirdo

You don't have to say it

I've always been strange

There's no denying it

I've always been derranged

I like it when they talk about me

It tells me that they know I'm there

I like it how they always bleed

It pleases me when they're scared

I like it when they see me as an enemy

It lets me know they fear me

Because I'm always the enemy of their morality

Screaming, they dance around my head

Hoping they'll make me end up dead

Here I come again

Silence, it goes away

Patience, oh really should I stay

Feeling it go on

What should I say

Here, I fuck up again

But I always win

Here I come again

Only You

Only you can crumple me up like this

Only you can cause me to waste away

Only you can hurt me like this

Only you can crush me in this way

Only you, because you are the one I love

Only you, because you are the one I want to hold

Only you, because you are the one sent from above

Only you, because you are the one I behold

Only you are the one I idolize

Only you are the one I want to be with

Only you are the one I need to keep me alive

Only you are the one I cannot despise

Only you are with him

Only you are with that user

Only you are the girl he throws away

Only you are the girl always comes back to him

Only you are the one he impregnates and leaves unsupported

Only you are the one who cries when he desserts you

Only you are the one who never reports it

Only you are the one who supports him

Only you are the girl who is his slave

Only you are the one who is stupid and naive

Only you are the one who ignores my advice

Only you are the one who doesn't know how to stay alive

Only you

H