Would like to start off with an apology to those I haven't met deadlines for. I haven't been able to touch my PC all week. Between concert preparations at college, a friend of mine getting in a car accident, and trying to help my mom with cleaning up trees out of the yard before the city cites her for it, it's been pretty rough. Also going through a major bout of depression, to the point I am convinced I am not a person in the same way other people are. I don't really have any emotions barring short ups and long downs. I've tested positive for anti-social personality disorder and aspergers, which bothers me. Just a lot of emotional turmoil and drama lately.

I've got a concert on the 19th this month in my home town and graduation exams, so I suppose that's something to look forward to, but I feel exhausted emotionally, physically, spiritually. Been having a lot of conflicts in my social life and stress. Had a panic attack last night. Really, the only thing I feel like is keeping me going is working out and helping my mom. My uncle, who left town because of harassment from the police here -- detaining him on no charges and such because of a long held vendetta I'll explain at the end of this post -- was arrested yesterday, again on no recent or significant charges, after police half a state over found one of his painting ads, called him in for a job, and arrested him on site. My mother and I are constantly arguing about money, and my fiancee is also depressed about her money situation -- can't afford insurance, but her parents are forcing her to use her last paycheck to put it in her name, and yet they tell her they'll take her car away if she can't afford it anymore, etc.

I'm just going through a feeling of complete hopelessness, and I know it's illogical. I've got a long time left to live and a future to change this. I hope to finish school and find work soon, so I have something to look forward to. Just needed to get that out.

In other news, I'm going to be working on another series of trap tunes, remixes, etc. to help keep the depression at bay. Also have a snapchat now, same username as here. Will try to get to my inbox asap. Thanks for listening.

-A

And now, that story about my uncle I promised. My uncle has been going to alcoholics' anonymous for years. This is relevant because occasionally he would get blackout drunk and do god knows what. The cops have used this to their advantage interrogating him on multiple occasions, and he's had trouble with them since he was a kid, sometimes on legitimate charges, most of the time not. The trouble really started when he started seeing a woman who didn't let on that she was married to a cop. Well, the guy found out and shot my uncle in the neck. Not long after, the cop died in a logging accident. His buddies, who knew my uncle was the other man his wife was seeing, naturally blamed my uncle, and ever since, every chance they have, the cops in Meridian have been after him. They busted into my house more than twice with MP5s looking for him, and he didn't even do anything. He's just a painter, hadn't even been drinking in months. I haven't seen him since before the last MP5 raid. 2 and a half years. The cops have literally torn my family apart.

WIP remix of Mr. Brightside. Can you say irony?

Not much poppin but a lot of music. Didn't even drink today. Played some FF Type-0 for inspiration. Funny how the years go by; you don't even feel old, but you don't feel like celebrating either. Most everybody I can stand hanging with is either out of town for spring break vacation or at work. I guess that's how it is when you grow up. Oh well, one more day marked off the calendar 'til I graduate college. That's something to look forward to.

Might make a little happy birthday beat later tonight. Keep an eye out.

Check it. Lots of good things from this friendship. @constromlie passed me a midi to destroy. Here's the result.

Posting to YouTube later today. Just gotta make a snazzy little bg for it, maybe a visualizer. Share or drop a review if you wanna support. The more people like, the more I'll make.

Watch it. I literally didn't believe it was this simple. @constromlie, you're a freakin genius. Think you might release a drum sample pack some time?

So, first off, big thanks to @constromlie for the "Apologize" MIDII hammered into a trap anthem. If you haven't already, check that shizzle. Most fun I've had in weeks.

http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/674368

Second of all, more trap on the way. Tomorrow I'm releasing "Earned It", another original untagged trap beat -- several more being written, and I'm also uploading the backlog from months ago, finishing touches on some older mixes. Lots of new stuff. Sure is nice not having to export every track individually and render in Audacity anymore!

-364

You heard me. This guy right here actually gave me free Mixcraft 7 in exchange for that tutorial last post, when I had just made a video not a day before on how to hack the registry so the buy audios on the trial wouldn't interrupt playback. Feeling hella grateful, not to mention utterly surprised. Holy shit. Life is good.

Also, got a copy of Life is Strange from a school buddy, and my gf surprised me with Final Fantasy Type-0, which I'd been wanting a PSVita for for years. I'm stoked!

I was asked to make a tutorial, if you checked the comment section on my last post. Here's the result.

First, the beat.

Making of:

Probably should have put a little time with writing the actual melodies, but this is the basic idea of the synths and how to achieve the sounds.

Check @BOULLIE's track here.

So, let's start off with my DAW, MX7. It's not the greatest out there, but it's easy to use and reasonably affordable -- although the sample libraries kind of suck, and so do most of the Acoustica instruments. I was fine with a trial until now, but in MX7, Acoustica evidently decided trials were too useful, and they had to cut into functionality somehow to force you to buy the software, which btw doesn't sidechain easy.

They did this by making the previously mildly annoying buy now audio messages unskippable and upped the intervals at which they would play, each time you'd hit a play button, mess with loop region, etc.

So, at my wits end, I did what any frustrated person would do. I hacked the registry to stop the messages. I didn't hack the trial so that I wouldn't have to buy it. I just stopped the annoying, cheesy "buy mixcraft NOW" supplemented with canned music. I eventually intend to snag a legal copy.

I was dumb enough to make a video about it, which will probably get taken down b/c my YT and Twitter are linked.

Why will it get taken down? Well, people have a habit of getting mad when you subvert their attempts to force you to immediately drop monies you have in short supply on their product. Exhibit A on Twitter. I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to get me blacklisted, lol. Damn auto tweets.

Anyway, use the info as you see fit, my friends, be it a laugh or otherwise, and let it be a lesson to those of you that dare to give bad business practices the finger. Path to hell is paved with good intentions, as they say.

No, no tornadoes last night, just 80 mile an hour wind blowing people off of the road and knocking the power out. Going to pretend I never said anything about going out in my underwear.

Anyway, I'm anticipating to release another track tonight, "Wave After Wave". I'll update when it's posted.

Update: Aaaand, released!

So, this is quite literally the biggest surprise in my 3 years of college, finding out that the only thing I lack for graduating with an AA in Music Ed is a three hour college algebra course, which I'm currently taking and hope I don't royally screw up like the last three times I took algebra. I thought I was in trouble when I got called in for the paperwork. Turns out, just one more course to finish out and I can transfer to uni on schedule. Downside of this is if I don't finish out strong, I'll have to pay out of pocket next year, no institutional scholarships, no grants, etc. because I've attempted so many hours (also mostly algebra).

I don't know whether to be ecstatic or anxious -- didn't know what name to put on my diploma either (trans name or birth name). I'm leaning toward anxious since I also found out that campus closes in roughly 30 minutes for severe weather, a TOR:CON 8 I believe. Last bout of tornadoes happened under a TOR:CON 3, and the highest is a 10 on the same scale. Probably going to be hearing a lot of that siren tonight. I guess at least this time I won't be dumb enough to go to the lobby in men's underwear and a blanket.

On the upside, the lyrics for "Thirst" are complete, and I anticipate to record this weekend.