Would like to start off with an apology to those I haven't met deadlines for. I haven't been able to touch my PC all week. Between concert preparations at college, a friend of mine getting in a car accident, and trying to help my mom with cleaning up trees out of the yard before the city cites her for it, it's been pretty rough. Also going through a major bout of depression, to the point I am convinced I am not a person in the same way other people are. I don't really have any emotions barring short ups and long downs. I've tested positive for anti-social personality disorder and aspergers, which bothers me. Just a lot of emotional turmoil and drama lately.

I've got a concert on the 19th this month in my home town and graduation exams, so I suppose that's something to look forward to, but I feel exhausted emotionally, physically, spiritually. Been having a lot of conflicts in my social life and stress. Had a panic attack last night. Really, the only thing I feel like is keeping me going is working out and helping my mom. My uncle, who left town because of harassment from the police here -- detaining him on no charges and such because of a long held vendetta I'll explain at the end of this post -- was arrested yesterday, again on no recent or significant charges, after police half a state over found one of his painting ads, called him in for a job, and arrested him on site. My mother and I are constantly arguing about money, and my fiancee is also depressed about her money situation -- can't afford insurance, but her parents are forcing her to use her last paycheck to put it in her name, and yet they tell her they'll take her car away if she can't afford it anymore, etc.

I'm just going through a feeling of complete hopelessness, and I know it's illogical. I've got a long time left to live and a future to change this. I hope to finish school and find work soon, so I have something to look forward to. Just needed to get that out.

In other news, I'm going to be working on another series of trap tunes, remixes, etc. to help keep the depression at bay. Also have a snapchat now, same username as here. Will try to get to my inbox asap. Thanks for listening.

-A

And now, that story about my uncle I promised. My uncle has been going to alcoholics' anonymous for years. This is relevant because occasionally he would get blackout drunk and do god knows what. The cops have used this to their advantage interrogating him on multiple occasions, and he's had trouble with them since he was a kid, sometimes on legitimate charges, most of the time not. The trouble really started when he started seeing a woman who didn't let on that she was married to a cop. Well, the guy found out and shot my uncle in the neck. Not long after, the cop died in a logging accident. His buddies, who knew my uncle was the other man his wife was seeing, naturally blamed my uncle, and ever since, every chance they have, the cops in Meridian have been after him. They busted into my house more than twice with MP5s looking for him, and he didn't even do anything. He's just a painter, hadn't even been drinking in months. I haven't seen him since before the last MP5 raid. 2 and a half years. The cops have literally torn my family apart.

WIP remix of Mr. Brightside. Can you say irony?